The man and woman/boy and girl are clearly "in love": their whispered words of tenderness and warm embrace testify to this fact.

Brethren are satisfied that they love the Lord and one another as they sing with much emotion, "Oh, how I love Jesus" and "Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love."

And mom and dad are confident they love their children as they, with feeling, put their arms around a son or daughter that's made them proud and say, "we love you."

But do those described in the above scenarios truly "love" one another? It all depends on our concept of "love" and whether it is objectively defined by God, or subjectively determined by self and/or contemporary social standards.

Love, as biblically defined, is not a warm, emotional, sentimental, puppy-love sensation that is felt when around someone special. Though there's nothing wrong with emotion and we don't question its benefit in a relationship, "love", as prescribed by God, is a much loftier concept than mere "feeling."

Love is commanded, Jo.13:34; 15:12,17; 1 Jo. 3:23; 2 Jo.5, and is taught, 1 Thess. 4:9. But you don't command mere emotions nor do you need to teach someone to "love" in the "adolescent" way. How many times has a girl been "in love" by the time she is 15 years of age or how often does a young man get that "special feeling" when around a young lady? These are emotions that come naturally in people. And did you have to teach or command these emotions to your teen-ager? But this is not the love upon which long and happy marriages are based. Nor is it that which children need most. And neither is it that which God manifested toward us or that he wants in return from us. So where does God define love, how do we know what it is? May I suggest that we start in Jo. 3:16 (see also 1 Jo.3:16)?

Love is giving: "God so loved the world that he gave..." Not until and unless we can make sacrifices for those we "love" does "true love" exist (1 Jo. 3:17).

Love is giving that which has great value: "...his only begotten Son..." Mere sacrificing will not do. What are we willing to "give up" ...that which means most to us or that which costs little (Phil. 3:7f)?

Love is giving that which has great value in order to benefit others: "...that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Love means wanting the best for another and being unwilling to stop until I've sacrificed whatever is necessary in order for them to have it (2 Cor. 12:15).

The time will come when, for many reasons, "love" (warn affection) may grow cold between husbands and wives, parents and children, brethren in the Lord. The tender words become difficult and the desire for an embrace is not there. But it is at this point that we must go to work and truly love one another as defined by Jesus. "My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue; but in deed and truth." 1 Jo. 3:18.